心，如此的痛。

当天是星期日，是Pastor Joe Poppell的特别聚会。照常地。。。我早上起来，准备好一些东西。当我准备好时，爸爸也从楼上下来，准备载我去教会。记得那时候，妈妈一再的吩咐我要为爸爸祷告，因为爸的左边的脸部感觉到很不舒服，有麻痹的感觉。妈妈说那是中风的现象。。。本来叫我不要去教会的，但我坚持要去。一路上，爸爸疲惫的脸庞让我看了，就感到很怕。一直问他说要不要我按摩，放松一下。。。但他不要。 到教会时还很早，我就陪爸爸在教会后面的market买菜。

过后，去完教会后，我回到家。爸爸的左脸还是一样不舒服。。。我的心开始感到很担心。

妈妈带爸去医院的emergency检查。一去就到半夜才会家。。。隔天我也有考试，心很不安。只求神保护我爸爸，医治他。

原本是一个正常人，有着跟正常人一样的脸的爸爸。。。

但，可没我想象中那么好。早晨我一醒来，爸爸还没醒来。我便乘搭我亲戚的车去学校。。。因为爸妈太累了。。。无法驾驶载我去学校。

考完试，在车上时候，我最想见的第一个人是我的爸爸。我看到他的时候，爸爸的左脸已经无法自己控制了。。。 回到家，我看得更清楚。心，的确是很痛。看到爸爸，口中微笑跟他说话，但心却像是被刀割一般。不曾想过会有这种事发生在爸爸身上。虽然不是很严重。。。虽然能够好。。。虽然讲话发音只有一些不准，我依然感到很心酸。回到房间，自己偷偷的哭。。。顿时想起‘钉痕的手’，这首歌。

我知道神会医治，也知道爸爸或许比我更难受。但。。。神，我求你一定要眷顾我爸爸。

今天，我收到一个消息。。。同样的，心是如此的痛。只怪我自己做不够好。。。但我知道神已医治，所以我还是坚信我的神、坚信神的话，神的应许。

*提醒：身边的所有，都要好好珍惜。现在，无论神给我什么，我要把握。。。我要珍惜。无论神要我做什么，我愿我那时候的心是顺服的。。。

回到伊甸园 Return to Eden

一片枯干的叶子飘落我眼前

昨天不是还在树上吗

 一朵漂亮的云彩飘浮过天边

随风而逝成过往云烟

当 走完人生的旅程

像一朵美丽云烟

飘向遥远的天边

回到天父的身边

转眼间 不再眷恋世上一切

看见天父的荣面 眨眼之间

仿佛回到了伊甸园

到那一天 我们的形体会改变

没有伤痛和眼泪 在宝座前

我们相聚在主爱里面

永远到永远

人一生的仗……一生的路……是短暂的。

既然已经生在这个世界，就开开心心地做每一件事，甘心的为主活。因为神让我们来到这世界，都有一定的理由，而不是让我们白白活这几十年。

蒙福义卖会 Blessed Fund-raising Food Fair 2009

支持我的小组！奶酪挞 - 口味：蓝莓，芒果 & 草莓。当然，其他小组也要支持一下……谢谢！ 愿神大大赐福于你！Please support our group! Cheese tart - flavour: blueberry, mango and strawberry. Support other groups as well......Thank you! May God bless you abundantly!

这是蓝莓奶酪挞的照片。This is the picture of the blueberry cheese tart.

每盒有6个Each box 6 tarts - RM10

日期 Date: 07-11-2009 (Saturday)

地点 Venue: Civic Centre

时间 Time: 7AM - 1PM

***K, Li Xin sis. I will prepare myself well in exam. Don't worry. Going to study now... =)

姑娘, 你很漂亮 Girl, You Are Beautiful by 例外人 The Remnant

PLEASE watch this video...
请看以下影片……

THANK YOU very much!!!
谢谢！！！

For more information, please visit 例外人音乐 - Li Wai Ren Music. Thanks!
有关更多详情，请游览 例外人音乐 - Li Wai Ren Music。谢谢！

愿意爱你

曾经被这首歌深深感动。现在也是如此……

Count Down to SPM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh... i have printed the timetable for SPM 2009 just now. Wow~ know what? The first 6 days are full. I mean those subjects which i'm going to sit for this year SPM. Even Add Maths is on the 6 days. My goodness... really can't touch this laptop again. This will be my last blog post before SPM.(think so) My parents start to be more strict to my study and also church meetings...actually since last year they were strict. Hahaha...but i didn't really tried my very best. So now i'm going to try my very best to get GOOD RESULTS. Even though i can't go for Friday Youth Fellowship for October and November until SPM end, but i will keep my mind with God. Pray at home then...... The last day of my SPM test is on 10/12/09. WoooHooOoo...freedom! But...don't think of it now. I need God to guide me and change my life. I am really NOTHING without God. Now, count down to SPM - left 64 days, 2 months to go. I have to improve a lot if i wanna get scholarship to further my study. I think nobody know about my dreams, except my mum and my sister and God. I know God knows the most. Hehehe...so that will be a secret. Whether my dreams will really come true, it's up to me that i really study hard or not. Of course, i have to study smart too, but study hard is better. Everything is in God's hands. For making decisions, God gives us chance to decide. For those who fear the Lord, God will instruct them in the way chosen for them. There is always hope if we don't give up easily and with a little trust and faith in God.

"God bless those who bless others..." We have to learn to bless others...... =)

What a cute photo, they are Justina's brother & sister & my house old gate.

Okay see you then...after SPM. ^^

感恩 Thankful

星期五的比赛终于结束了~ 心中好像有颗大石头消失了。所谓“一山还有一山高”，到最后还是唱得不好，他们实在很steady啊，尤其是伟荣和紫旋，真的是佩服他们。嘿嘿……整晚的比赛，我犯了最大的错误吞口水。咳哟~ 不知道为什么会这样…一直都很疑惑。是呼吸没有控制好吗？嗯……还是喉咙的关系？让你们看看我所说的喉咙问题吧！不要看我的牙齿，看里面那个“圈”。很"gelik" ho？从九岁开始，我父母就发现我呼吸特别大声。到后来才知道……原来我的喉咙已经发炎好久一段时间。到现在还是一样的状况，不能吃太多油腻煎炸得食物，甚至最好不要吃。但至少另外一边已经好了，我相信神会医治。如果神没有医治的话，我就不能呼吸了。这件事我很少会在别人面前提起，也不太想要提起。(Rebecca you know lah... Hehe...) 我曾经想过：“如果那颗瘤割掉的话，我特别的声音是否会消失？” 我的妈妈也问过我。我也不知道，一切就在于神咯……

最后的成绩：虽然我只拿到第二十名，但我还是要感恩。今天牧师说到一片云雾，就好像我们的生命一般，转眼间就消失，非常的短暂！这让我联想到一首歌，也是经文：“我是在地上做寄居的，求你不要向我隐瞒你的命令……” 人是可以被取代的。我们的生命都在神的手中，若神要的话，神可以立刻让你断气，相信吗？要对神保守忠心的心与圣灵的同在虽然不简单，但…努力吧！神为我们预备的是极大的福分…… 能活着，就要感恩，真的要学会感恩。

愿我的心，常常思想：

“耶稣，我需要的不是我自己满足、或是靠自己的意思活；我需要的是一颗愿意的心，有神你的旨意的生命。”

Reminder:

“你们祷告，无论求什么，只要信，就必得着。” 

(太 Mt. 21:22)

“神为爱他的人所预备的是眼睛未曾看见，耳朵未曾听见，人心也未曾想到的。”

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him."

FINAL!!!

I'm really scare to be in FINAL. There are many strong contestants...... They are so talented. I was chatting with my sister just now, i told her i'm worrying. Then she replied, "You better worry on your study first! And......(don't need to be mention)" I think she is right although i answered back I worry for my study long time ago, but my heart was agreed with her at that time. So finally, I've choose a song which pastor help me to choose, that is “唯一” a.k.a “我心中的唯一”. This song...some parts really need a lot of breath, my breathing is always a problem actually. Cos' my throat got problem... I hope and i will perform with all my best this time then i have no regret. I must not give up! May God bless all of the contestants and also bless me. Heal my throat, Lord. I know and i believe You are the most powerful doctor in this world...... Don't worry, things will not get better by worrying them. Just give all to God, and He will let us to know what is a "MIRACLE". Be the steady ones. Of course I have to do my best too~ then God can bless me more than what i think. Trust in the Lord! See you on 21st of August, 2009, guys! God bless... Hehe... Thank God for the chance.

我心中的唯一 by 龙飘飘

Blessed Singing Competition 蒙福教会歌唱比赛 2009

Vote the contestantssssssssss you like at

Blessed Singing Competition (website for voting).
Welcome all of you to come...
Here's the clearer location map of Blessed Church.

Time: 7.30PM start.

*RM5 per ticket*

(Those who interested can tell me, maybe i will buy a tiket for you.)

古晉蒙福教會
BLESSED CHURCH KUCHING
Sublot 319, Lorong 2A5, Tabuan Laru,
P.O.Box 2527, 93750
Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia.

不落空

这个video已经upload好久了…… 我记得这应该是在放学走路回家，放下书包后，就随便弹弹录起来。呵呵……

Gotta be serious......

I saw Chieng wrote this in her Facebook profile. I think the thing she means is about the pastor's preach. Yes, we have to be serious to God. Really... I went to 2nd service today. I feel that i'm not worth to have forgiveness from God when i'm listening to what pastor said. The David's song of repentance...so touching. Even though i know this chapter Psalm 51 a long time ago, but this time...i really feel i have many sins that God not please with. I was thinking back in my heart when i decided hand over my life to God, how was my life at that time...and compare to the life i have now. Just gotta be serious again...back to the first love, remind myself... "The VISION: After God's own heart is really realize your own sin and repent humbly, the most concern thing is the relationship with God and know that you are undeserving and glorify God's name...just to please God's heart." Just like David in the Bible. TO BE CONTINUE......

In Christ Alone by Newsboys

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

那一天，那一夜。

那一天 - 二零零九年六月十二日（星期五），地点蒙福教会，当时我只有一种感觉，实在是紧张！没办法…… 被抽到跟一号参赛者做对决，实在是~~~~~~~~~~~紧张！！！！！！！！怕到…………不知道要怎样形容。在这么紧张的气氛下，我还是唱了。但，唱不好，我本身觉得我唱得不好。不过，至少我已尝试过。呵呵… 人生嘛！总有起起伏伏，有时会有意外中的成功，有时却有不经意中的失败。不用紧！我还是进决赛了！哈哈哈哈哈…… 我姐和妈妈劝我要多注意在功课上，这是应当的，不然我的成绩真的是会向下跌。人，都会想要进步，但要不要进步，只是看我们的选择。同样的，神也给我们有选择的机会。我们要不要改，要不要相信，要不要服侍神，神都让我们选择。当晚，我看了每一位参赛者的表现，有的令我很惊讶，有的我早期就知道他本来就很厉害。那些参赛者，我就不必声明咯…… 有去的人都会知道。嗯… 看了之后，觉得自己不应该进大决赛。老实说，那晚当我回到家时，真的是很很很很难过，哭得多么凄惨（幸好我姐没有拍下来）。因为我唱得真的不是很好。现在的我，不管了！！！我会在大决赛的那天，尽我全力唱得最好！我要唱给耶稣听，就像姐姐一直提醒我的：“你就放轻松唱就是了~ 像是做给主看，而不是做给人看。神看的是心，神最在乎的也是我们的心。”（圣经也有记载）至于我在大决赛要唱什么歌，无可奉告！哈哈哈！没有啦~ 已经有蛮多人问我了，我都有回答。但那首歌，我还不确定，必须问牧师的意见。要知道我唱什么歌？来问我咯…

Very weird face...... got it from Mick Long's Facebook profile.

感谢主，我有机会进决赛。这一切，我都要把他交给主。因为是神所给我的，我才能够有能力唱歌，有勇气站在舞台上。

NEW GUITAR

今天，我又能开始“动”吉他了…… 心情当然是很开心咯~ 我大姐，郭丽欣小姐，谢谢您的大恩大德，sponsor我RM100。哈哈哈…… 也谢谢爸爸妈妈。能够买新的吉他，当然是有原因的。“他”是我的生日礼物，也就是吉他啦~ 在前两年，我家曾经被小偷侵袭，就是那一天，我的旧吉他也跟着不见了。实在是感到遗憾，如此贵重的东西，就这样的消失！今晚我不能去祷告会，其实真正的原因是我亲爱的父母要我留在家读书，因为这两个星期有考试。但，今晚是例外……他们要帮我庆祝，所以就去Saberkas走走。第一件事！我一直催他们先带我去最顶楼的乐器店。一买，就等了差不多一小时，妈妈的脚都酸了。回到家，我就做出这件事……

其实那顶帽子是我弟弟叫我带的，不是我故意要带。呵呵~

妈妈帮忙拍，为了要send给丽欣小姐看。=)

Take photo with brother. I did asked my dad and mom to take photo with me, but thay said tired, next time. 这架guitar的颜色很普通，quality算是蛮好的啦（我觉得而已=p）。若走近看，它的木质颜色比较美，远远看没什么。今年的生日虽然没有蛋糕吃，但我已经很满足了。感谢神给我的一切！

We Are The Reason

I really like this video, "We Are The Reason". It sounds great and nice... Touching & meaningful too. We really are the reason that Jesus gave His own life to save us. =)

面具化妆舞会 Masquerade Ball 2009

是的！二零零九年三月二十日，少团举办了从前不曾举办的活动，也可以说是比赛，那就是“面具化妆舞会”(Masquerade Ball)。那整个星期都很忙，学校又有活动，但说真的……我很享受。嘿嘿，我的小组，以探组(Ethan)和撒母耳组(Samuel)联合，在Andy与Jenna的带领下，我们这两个小组成功完成了当晚的演出！拍了许多照片，但不能把全部都放出来，如果要看更仔细的话，可以去Facebook那里找。

尽心尽力地设计个人面具...

练舞时的情形，很暗。男生的动作超级夸张，慢点再upload。

这些组员都很乖，虽然有时意见不同，但他们还是很合作，顺服！

在表演之前所播放的video...

感觉上很好笑，穿着雨衣跳舞。(Ps: 一开始表演的时候，我竟敢把那三种简单的舞步给忘了！！！实在是丢脸。)

很可惜~ 当晚我必须早回家。只拍我弟带着我的面具的照片。没办法跟小组及朋友拍照咯……

好了！我没时间写更多，有空再post更多学校和教会的活动，当然还有生活中所发生的事情。

新年初四去Santubong

对了……就是初四！我们全家，当然包括放假回来的姐姐，和爸那一边的一些亲戚去Santubong Resort住两天一夜。其实去那里也没做什么……can't do anything.

CNY Area Group Visiting 2009

Hehe...now then i post about CNY, really not free during last few months... So, at the 4th day of CNY......

Firstly, I followed Andy's car, he went to fetch Kin Wen then we met at Clarissa's house. Then again, 'coz of Shau Chiat need my accompany, I followed Wei Sheng's car and we went to the 2nd house...Yun Ru's house. =)

I took this photo when I discovered if you follow Wei Sheng's car, you will always laugh non-stop. It was very "cold", sometimes "sweat" . =.="' - he always say jokes that make people can't control their emotions.

Biggest house that we visited at that day. Shock when I went in......

After that, we visited Xiao Ying's house then she followed us to visit. (no photo, forgot to take.) Actually before these 2 house, we visited Shien Harn's house. (no photo also)

Ah HA!!!!! Michelle Jee Tze Sien's house. So many things to eat, but I tried some only. Yea...i think i tried some cakes only. Hehehehe... Then, we went to Lee Lee's house (no photo), and Hui Joo's house. (got photo, but i didn't take from her)

Winnie's room - the only house which we went into the bedroom to have a "VISIT". XP

Still at the same house, but not at the same place.

Same house, but not at the same place. Oh ya! I wanna talk about this girl. Can't stand her at that day, no la...still can stand. Laugh... Laugh... Laugh...

From Winnie's house laugh to Samson's house...

(Don't wanna let me to take her laughing photo wor....but I want! =P Hahahaha...)When she saw Wei Sheng, LAUGH!!!!!!! Even when he called her name, LAUGH!!!!!!!!


Same house...i mean Samson's house. LAUGH!!!!!! (Weird~ I really don't understand her. o.O)

I changed target, Sze Joo.... Sze Joo.... Lols.

Back to the car, this Michelle bo pian.... she have to follow Wei Sheng's car. LAUGH again!!! I almost got the "laughing disease" already at that time, luckily, a while only. Visited Michelle Sim Jia Er's house then......

Last station, MY HOUSE! Yea....my brother was in the photo also. Those who followed Hui Joo's car went to Yi Qiu's house, but not mine. You see! Is Ah Ma still laughing????!?!? Is that anything else in my house which is funny? Oh no no no~ I call Michelle as Ah Ma...same as Jack and Chieng. Hehe... Ah Ma laughed for... I count first. Heard from Wei Sheng that it was 6 hours. So it was 6 hours.......unbelievable! Too over! So "li hai" ho her~ She laughed until stomachache, but still can't stop. What was the reason??!??!?! It's all about her leader. Go and ask him. Lol, whatever la... I think everyone felt tired but hAppY at that day. =)

Do the things you did at first......

That day (Thu 05-03-2009), was our area, Andy's area turn to go to Wei Hong's house. Count as gathering for leaders.

At that day, i got tuition at Sri Sarjana until 7pm. So i went out earlier at 6.15pm to wait for Andy's car. 'Cos the gathering started at 6.30pm. Then when i went out, sms Andy...he called me and told me will be late. I =.="' quite a long time and I don't dare to go to my Physics class again (teacher will ask why you come again and very pai seh that I asked my dad to tell teacher to allow me to come out earlier and I still go in and out). Waiting & waiting...nothing to do so I took out my P. Moral exercise book to by heart those nilai-nilai murni. (Don't know why Moral need to by heart. Haizzz...)

By heart lo.........Friday is P. Moral test wor......

Then, after half hour, I got a call from Andy again and he said he reach 3rd mile Unaco already. The wrong place!!!! Should be the Unaco at Jalan Kereta Api. Luckily he know where, if not i'm going to wait for a longer time. So when we reached Wei Hong's house, we were late. Pai seh...

Food that we brought.

AHHH!!!!!! This! This Birthday girl, so "zhun" that day was Yun Ru Birthday. So pity her that she always disturbed by Wei Sheng....

She had been forced by us, especially Wei Sheng, to get out the only one candle from the cake.
So funny........ XP Laugh until faint. Of course not really faint la....just describe the feeling. Hehe...

Green bean soup.....cooked by Han Shiang. Nice taste ler....

行起初所行的事… =) Erm...this verse is so encouraging. 我要再站起来，不要总是认同样的罪。我要再像以前那样火热爱主！！！嘿嘿嘿… 要把小组和区当着像一个家。在年轻的时候，还有那种能力时，多追求可以学、可以做的东西… 趁年轻时，能学多少东西就学多少。不要等到越来越老时，才来后悔。组员会看领袖的生命为他们的榜样，所以身为领袖一定要有很好很好的见证！！11:08pm Thu 05-03-2009 (I noted down the points which told by Wei Hong when I reached home. Great day~ ^^ Learned a lot of things.)

为主来梦想

为主来梦想-是一首很有意思的歌。我今天以这个为标题，是真的有关于到梦想。11:00am Sat 07-02-2009，我陪爸爸去Timberland看医生。我心中有一点害怕，因为以前我爸每次去医院检查，都是因为严重的病痛。这次去呢……是因为手指有一粒很恐怖的小瘤。我小时候的梦想是要当一位帮助人的医生… 现在的我虽然成绩没有像以前的那么好，可是我还是希望如果有机会，如果神要我做的话，我是愿意的。

爸手指的小瘤

我从小就一直都有去教会，小小年纪心中只知道“有一位神，名叫耶稣很爱我。”，但十二岁那年是我真正认识主的时候。就因这样，我下定决心，永远要事奉主，想一生被这伟大的神使用。这是我最大最大的梦想！现在嘞~ 我对设计东西有那么一点的兴趣，所以还是不知该选什么好… 牧师和伟宏曾经跟年轻人说，如果有一天，神吩咐你做一件事。比如说：“若神要你去非洲或沙漠地带传福音，你愿意吗？”我听了…我不知该怎么回答。如果神吩咐你做一个神迹，你有信心吗？总结，不管神要我做什么，我愿我那时的心都会愿意去做。我求神保守我的心，永远都愿意为主而活！阿们！！

Guitar

Hehe... Oh yea~ I am online now again. Coz wanna do some stuffs of Girl Guides. The picture that i post one is my mom's guitar with 3 strings, or can say as without 3 strings. Hahaha...actually just take this photo for fun. But i really like this photo... =D By the way, i'll have a new guitar on May, my birthday, that is what my parents said. I gotta choose a nice one this time. I don't want to lose it anymore and don't want it to be stolen again!!!!!!!! Yea...lol... The guitar i had last time, was a good guitar also. Given by my church...so good. But...... T.T Nevermind already.

FLOOD

Really really busy this few weeks, even last month. No time to online... Now, i can just write about FLOOD! Yea, it was FLOOD. I did took a lot of photo of last month what had happened and also last few days, but i'm not going to write about that now...wait and see when i'm free then i'll post them out. Oh ya! Only our area gathering one...i'll write it someday also. Hehehe... okay, back to the topic, FLOOD. I think only Sarawak here got flood right... My house area, Pisang Road West got also. Really sweat a lot for carrying those furniture on 11.01.09(Sun). Until now those tables, chairs, sofa, TV and blablabla all still in a mess. But i quite enjoy the moment 'cos can walk here and there with the water around. Lols, the flood is until my house car porch only. Luckily not into house. Somewhere else like Bau is really serious flooded, especially Siniawan i think. See! I'm now at home, but not at school - SMK Sungai Maong. You know why??!??! My school is flooded also, serious than my house area, even though my school is very near my house. Many people thought that today our school is open, but when i went there this morning, not until the school. At the turn there got some teacher, they give a signal that no class today. Tomorrow should be okay to have class. Don't think that very good 'cos no schooling, we have to have replacement class leh!!!

This is first day, more serious...

Seems like enjoying. Lols...ya, i think quite enjoy it. =P2nd day one...