Monday, November 10, 2014

回到起初 Back To The First (2)

Finally, i have some time to write another blog post. This will be the second part of <Back To The First>. Alright~ I am back to the place where first i get to know God. A place where i grown up, living with family. It is truly a great thing to share, i am back to my hometown - Kuching, Sarawak! :) (So long time then i post this out. =="' One year already. Hahahaha...)

Here comes, one of my testimonies:

After finished my Nursing Board Exam, i had been through nearly 6 months "holidays" that caused me felt like i was really useless. The "holidays" i mean including my last year mission trip, Perth vacation with grandma, the time when i was at KL, when i was at home doing nothing and my Youth Camp (Till i got a job). For me, that period of time was the time that i had decided a BIG DECISION in my life. I was actually facing challenges and trials, especially spiritually. I was struggling so hardly which i used to hide it deep in my heart and cried every night. I cried, didn't mean that i was giving up; when i cried, i cried to God. Thank God for His grace, He keeps reminding me how great He is and do not give up on myself, coz God never gives up on us. Some of my friends may thought, "Wow, you had been to Thailand (mission trip) and Australia! So good!" Yeah, indeed, it was really a cool and extraordinary experiences. But who knows? I was actually crying every night when i was at Australia. At first i kept asking God: "Why??? Why, God? You lead me to study Nursing, but why can't i see a pathway to walk to?" Then my dear God will always answered me through different ways, saying or showing "Back to the first." That simple answer. "Back to the first" having wonderful meaning, which means "back to the first love" (God and man), a faithful, humble, teachable and obedient heart. So i have been asking God to break my heart as what breaks God's heart, as i could understand the heart of God. I have too much pride inside of me, easily being proud if i'm not careful enough. Sometimes i myself don't even realize it.

21/08/2013 - I was at my aunty's house, Parkwood, Perth. Stayed in the room, felt lost and no direction for my future. I repented and humbled myself down.

22/10/2013 - One of my church leader texted me, "I just wanted to tell you that God will lead you to the place He wants you to be stayed." (I was going to have interview at one of the KL's hospital.)

10/11/2013 - (At Kuching) Unable to sleep at night, went for Quiet Time by playing guitar and worshiping God in a private corner. Suddenly a peaceful mind came to me, my heart was so calmed.

11/11/2013 - My mom kept asking me did i received any call for interview, i told her by faith, "Don't worry, mom. I will receive another call from Normah soon, very soon." *Usually i will be very fed-up.*

12/12/2013 - Received a call from Normah, for interview. *I knew my Father will never let me down! Miracles are always God's profession. =D*

16/12/2013 - Passed my interview and waiting for medical check-up.

When i started to learn to humble myself, (still keep on learning now) God turned my problems and mistakes into blessings. Sometimes we need to wait for God's perfect timing. Other than that, we have to keep filling by the Holy Spirit to give us strength. If we want Holy Spirit to fill us greatly, then we have to give God the space. We have to empty our heart first, let go all. We are the one who decide to give big or small space to the Holy Spirit to fill up. His favor poured upon me greatly, what i received were more than i can imagine. Through this time experience, i have learnt to forgive as the Lord forgave me. Keep learning to give thanks in any kind of situations. Learn to love others as how God loves me. Remind me of first love towards God, trust in Him wholeheartedly. All of these, i am still learning...of course.  =) How mighty is our God~! 

Conclusion of my testimony: "A year ago i was a jobless newly graduated nurse, and now i am working as a staff nurse at the Emergency Department of NMSC."

Same goes to: "A year ago my heart was in pieces that no one noticed, and now i can say i am strong through the One who gives me strength and loves me so much."

Working at Emergency Department, is a blessing from God. I believe that is a pathway, reach out to more people through my first action, like a smile on my face, a prayer in my heart.


So, are you having problems and stress in finding job? Facing great challenges which you don't know how to overcome it? Come to Jesus~! Offer up and give all to God. He is always there waiting for us to find Him, seek Him & be with Him. No matter how tough it is, remember we can be victorious when we start to rely on God faithfully. Do not live in the past, keep looking forward. Your life is precious in God's eyes. He will definitely make a way.



In this journey of life, is not always smooth as what we want. But when you keep going, you will see how much lessons you had learned along this journey. So don't be discouraged.
When there is God, there is a way.


Many times we thought that we are the one who seek God always, 
but actually God is the One who found us first.
Thank you, Father. :)


Last Reminder:
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."(Colossians 3:23)

So back to the first, the first love, a heart that always think of working for the Lord. When you start to work for the Lord, your willingness will make your happiness and blessings overflow.
All the best & God bless you!

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