昨日感言 Throwback Post - 04/11/2014

03/11/2014 (Monday)

刚做完晚班, 从医院回到家, 休息了一小时。一个人躺在沙发上......思考着, 让我回想起一些事。一个生命可以在几秒内伤亡, 没有人能预料自己或别人的生命接下来会一切安好。当生活过得很舒适, 一切都顺利时, 我们可否察觉到生命的重要? 家人、健康、朋友、事业等, 哪一个是永恒的呢? 当遇到真正的困难时, 有谁是一直支持及帮助我们的呢? 这一生中, 什么是我们所追求的? 到活到最后一口气时, 我们能带走这一切吗? 这些问题可说是我们常思考, 或又可以说常忘记思考的问题。

回到起初 Back To The First (2)

Finally, i have some time to write another blog post. This will be the second part of <Back To The First>. Alright~ I am back to the place where first i get to know God. A place where i grown up, living with family. It is truly a great thing to share, i am back to my hometown - Kuching, Sarawak! :) (So long time then i post this out. =="' One year already. Hahahaha...)

Here comes, one of my testimonies:

After finished my Nursing Board Exam, i had been through nearly 6 months "holidays" that caused me felt like i was really useless. The "holidays" i mean including my last year mission trip, Perth vacation with grandma, the time when i was at KL, when i was at home doing nothing and my Youth Camp (Till i got a job). For me, that period of time was the time that i had decided a BIG DECISION in my life. I was actually facing challenges and trials, especially spiritually. I was struggling so hardly which i used to hide it deep in my heart and cried every night. I cried, didn't mean that i was giving up; when i cried, i cried to God. Thank God for His grace, He keeps reminding me how great He is and do not give up on myself, coz God never gives up on us. Some of my friends may thought, "Wow, you had been to Thailand (mission trip) and Australia! So good!" Yeah, indeed, it was really a cool and extraordinary experiences. But who knows? I was actually crying every night when i was at Australia. At first i kept asking God: "Why??? Why, God? You lead me to study Nursing, but why can't i see a pathway to walk to?" Then my dear God will always answered me through different ways, saying or showing "Back to the first." That simple answer. "Back to the first" having wonderful meaning, which means "back to the first love" (God and man), a faithful, humble, teachable and obedient heart. So i have been asking God to break my heart as what breaks God's heart, as i could understand the heart of God. I have too much pride inside of me, easily being proud if i'm not careful enough. Sometimes i myself don't even realize it.

21/08/2013 - I was at my aunty's house, Parkwood, Perth. Stayed in the room, felt lost and no direction for my future. I repented and humbled myself down.

22/10/2013 - One of my church leader texted me, "I just wanted to tell you that God will lead you to the place He wants you to be stayed." (I was going to have interview at one of the KL's hospital.)

10/11/2013 - (At Kuching) Unable to sleep at night, went for Quiet Time by playing guitar and worshiping God in a private corner. Suddenly a peaceful mind came to me, my heart was so calmed.

11/11/2013 - My mom kept asking me did i received any call for interview, i told her by faith, "Don't worry, mom. I will receive another call from Normah soon, very soon." *Usually i will be very fed-up.*

12/12/2013 - Received a call from Normah, for interview. *I knew my Father will never let me down! Miracles are always God's profession. =D*

16/12/2013 - Passed my interview and waiting for medical check-up.

When i started to learn to humble myself, (still keep on learning now) God turned my problems and mistakes into blessings. Sometimes we need to wait for God's perfect timing. Other than that, we have to keep filling by the Holy Spirit to give us strength. If we want Holy Spirit to fill us greatly, then we have to give God the space. We have to empty our heart first, let go all. We are the one who decide to give big or small space to the Holy Spirit to fill up. His favor poured upon me greatly, what i received were more than i can imagine. Through this time experience, i have learnt to forgive as the Lord forgave me. Keep learning to give thanks in any kind of situations. Learn to love others as how God loves me. Remind me of first love towards God, trust in Him wholeheartedly. All of these, i am still learning...of course.  =) How mighty is our God~! 

Conclusion of my testimony: "A year ago i was a jobless newly graduated nurse, and now i am working as a staff nurse at the Emergency Department of NMSC."

Same goes to: "A year ago my heart was in pieces that no one noticed, and now i can say i am strong through the One who gives me strength and loves me so much."

Working at Emergency Department, is a blessing from God. I believe that is a pathway, reach out to more people through my first action, like a smile on my face, a prayer in my heart.


So, are you having problems and stress in finding job? Facing great challenges which you don't know how to overcome it? Come to Jesus~! Offer up and give all to God. He is always there waiting for us to find Him, seek Him & be with Him. No matter how tough it is, remember we can be victorious when we start to rely on God faithfully. Do not live in the past, keep looking forward. Your life is precious in God's eyes. He will definitely make a way.

In this journey of life, is not always smooth as what we want. But when you keep going, you will see how much lessons you had learned along this journey. So don't be discouraged.
When there is God, there is a way.

Many times we thought that we are the one who seek God always, 
but actually God is the One who found us first.
Thank you, Father. :)

Last Reminder:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."(Colossians 3:23)

So back to the first, the first love, a heart that always think of working for the Lord. When you start to work for the Lord, your willingness will make your happiness and blessings overflow.
All the best & God bless you!

20 Facts About Me

Alright~ I have 3 friends tagged me to write out this, 1 is optional. Thanks to them, i have to "squeeze" my own brain to type out the 20 facts about me. Hahaha...

1) My name "Edwina" is actually not added in my IC, wanted to add in but postponed for a long time.
2) I believe in Jesus Christ.
3) Love music, but not all sort of music i will like it.
4) Enjoy playing guitar and piano alone, singing along. Hope to learn more musical instruments.
5) Used to heal different kinds of animals which were injured during my childhood time.
6) Nature lover. Even told my dad i wanted to live in the jungle/kampung in the future.
7) A nurse.
8) Since 11 years old, my life have been greatly touch by God...till now.
9) I ever been transferred 3 times to different primary schools. *That's why i have many friends, but not that close.*
10) My dad, mom & sister are teachers. Brother is just a student. They are great.
11) Love to receive challenges.
12) Having really big dreams that only God knows.
13) Being fat and chubby since 7 years old, training myself back to the healthy lifestyle now.
14) Like making new friends, for they don't know about my background. And i'm going to surprise them after that.
15) Enjoy travelling and sports. Either alone, with family or friends.
16) Working at Emergency Department, with great people there.
17) Believe everything has its own season. Something that should be hide at certain time; something have to be spoken out at certain moment.
18) Enjoy watching cartoons and mystery movie when i'm really really really free.
19) Reading books is one of my favourite thing to do, but always not finishing.
20) Like to do things during midnight, for nobody will disturb, so quiet. Being alone but not lonely. :)

Knowing my facts might not really knowing me. Steady, friends! Hehe...

Tweets

Just simply updating my blog by Twitter, in progress of adjusting my time for doing back my hobbies (since i am back to Kuching already). Haha... May God guide every single step i walk throughout my whole life! :)

新的季节 New Season

Keep moving into a new season, do not give up but keep going. Have faith in God.

* To be continue... :P

回到起初 Back To The First (1)

好久好久好久一段时间，停止了这个爱好——在三更半夜写blog。哈哈哈~ 有时做回以前所做的事，会感到有一点兴奋，非常开心有这个时间。=) 那今天就分享我这几年来，在KL读书的心情，所学习到的一些东西吧！呵呵…不能一次过分享全部，所以就只能先分享教会生活。

我很“荣幸”的说明：我在这里身材从中等变瘦了，有变胖；在从胖，又变瘦，然后现在又胖了！！！=.="' 不止身材，头发从长变非常短；现在头发又长了！好事是，头发还是一样黑。

Guitar always be my accompany. 

在古晋，我是去蒙福教会 Blessed Church。

我来到KL，去的教会是GA611灵粮堂。

GA611 Bread Of Life - Inside of Tabernacle

有一件事，也是最重要的事，我常常提醒自己要感谢神，就是神帮助我，保守我的心。圣经有一句经文：箴言 Proverbs 3:23 “你要保守你心，胜过保守一切，因为一生的果效是由心发出。Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. ”  心，实在是重要；没有心，什么都做不成。

Sharing Hearts - end of 2012

在GA (Great Army 极大军队)，神赐给我很多身边的朋友，领袖、牧师、组员，尤其是Ah Pat小组的每一位成员，一直在身边陪伴。有困难就一起面对，有福就一起分享。Ah Pat (Patricia)是我的组长，也是从Sarawak来这里读书，做护士的，是一位非常棒的组长。=)

Elisha first time joined our Ah Pat Group.

Wanny's Birthday Celebration

Trip to The Farm 1 (leaders)

Trip to The Farm 2 (leaders)

Trip to The Farm 3 (leaders)

Outing with Leader Chih San's 体系

Ah Pat Cell Group - Gathering at Kelana Jaya with new members.

First launching GAYA (GA Young Adult), I am no longer a Youth. LOL!!! 

感谢主！！在这里，我被装备（上很多课程，明白很多旧约节期），也被提升了。其中一个提升是从少团升级去青团 (Youth to Young Adult)。哈哈哈！

Group Photo of Music H2O

2012年也参与在Music H2O concert，身为其中一个员，我感到很开心。因为需要整个团体的合作与配合， 所以更加彼此了解。

Hanna, David, Andrew, Elijah, Pastor Jing Ping (pastor of daughter church, GC611 BOL), IP. Charlotte, Phoebe, me and Priscilla. Mission Trip to Nongkhai, Thailand (8/8/13-13/8/13).

今年年头，我向神许了愿——今年至少要去一次宣教！神真的是很伟大的神，很奇妙地就像上图，与这班朋友去到廊开，泰国。真的是一个非常欢喜与充满神迹奇事的旅程。=)

Powerpoint Ministry

我这里的服侍，难以置信。我自己也很难相信，神会使用我在Powerpoint和钢琴上。这一切都是神的恩典啊~~~！神常常用钢琴来提醒我不要骄傲，反而要更加谦卑，因为这一切都是神给的。若不是神，我哪有机会呢？真的要常常提醒自己，我这双手，让神用。只要信靠他，不可能的都能成为可能。看这篇post的人，相信神同样能使用你的生命。只要你愿意把你自己交在神的手中，非一般的神迹会发生在你身上。加油吧！^^

Past Sukkot Celebration, blessings of God will flow on us. AMEN!

所以有时我会求，我愿我永远不要忘记，那起初的爱心。那种更渴慕爱神，想认识神的心。只单单要明白神的心意，单单要更加亲近天父的心。

蒙福教会和GA611灵粮堂的每一位牧师，领袖，以及所有的人，谢谢你们出现在我的生命里。你们都很棒！=D 我非常感恩能够在当中成长。

愿神大大祝福你们！阿门！

最后提醒：要回到起初，起初的爱心。=)

我跪下 I Get On My Knees

Listen 我跪下 I Get On My Knees at Youtube Page

Such a long time, i did keep writing blog but not posting it. Haha...so, i would like to introduce a song today which composed by Ps. Lim GT from Blessed Church, Kuching. The song is really a prayer song. A song where you can rest in God's arm, and seek the Lord, living in His presence. :)

Updated

Long time didn't update my blog page already. Just write a few sentences to be updated. Haha...i'm in the last semester, which is Semester 6 in Nursing now at Sime Darby's college. Many of my relatives and friends keep asking a same question: "Where do you wanna work after graduate? KL? Kuching? Or overseas?" My answer will be: "I haven't decide yet." To decide where to work, i think i need quite some time to think and think and think again. While i'm studying this nursing course, the only thing that i dislike the most is the working shift. Oh it's really tiring~ so i was thinking, how can i be a staff nurse then? HAHAHA!!! And also affecting my time going to church, that's the IMPORTANT point! I really hope to continue to serve God. Don't give up for i have BIG DREAMS for God. Sooooo conclusion is……

…Oh Lord~ guide my way. Let me be where You want me to be… Thank you, Lord. =)

*Last few months i kept gaining my body weight. See!!!! Arhh...on diet now. Controlling... =P

有时候 Sometimes

有时候, 想念待在家的滋味。

有时候, 想到外面到处翱翔。

有时候, 到了外头想念家乡。

有时候, 回到家心情很沉重; 

因我知道, 过了没多久, 

我又要离开这么温暖的家。

虽然有吵架, 虽然有不合的时候,

但这个家…永远给了我一个安全遮盖。

我真的, 非常爱他们。=')

與你更靠近 Closer To You by 大衛帳幕的榮耀

A Free Night

Ding Dang Dong~ it's 0218AM, and i haven't sleep. Texted one of my friend, Rebekah, just now. I told her that my mind kept thinking of serving thingy and my heart was just so heavy till i'd insomnia. HAHA...she taught me some tips, used it but i ended up in different way to sleep. Was thinking of "How can i practice keyboard since now i'm serving as a keyboardist?", i was thinking of that, i really can't make it without a keyboard. Then i thought i really can't sleep for the whole night if i kept thinking of the same question. Who knows my mind came out with a solution, that makes me so energetic now, listening to Bethel Live's songs. The solution which came to my mind was......

"If the path of God is without any challenges, how can i improve? I'll be doing the same thing everyday if i can't be stronger. All i have to do is just OVERCOME by the strength from God. That's all. God doesn't want us to stress ourselves so much, but by His Power, His Love, He will let us to be an OVERCOMER."

Thank you, Lord. :) For everything.

感谢神 Thank God

看看过去我走过的路……

我感谢神。

因我不会后悔自己选择的路，也知道神必定有自己的旨意。

感谢神让我在KL读书，坚定我，帮我持守继续有去教会。

感谢神让我在这里学习不少。

感谢神让我在这里认识了好多朋友。

感谢神让我看到世界的实在。

感谢神我有机会事奉神。

。。。。。。好多事情要感谢。。。。。。

但愿我心常常合神心意。

神他必看顾我。

短短的几句……

一心只想感谢神，那么照顾我。=)

我的神是个好神，最棒的天父！

Satu Hal Yang Ku Rindu 我思念的一件事

This is a Indonesia song named "Satu Hal Yang Ku Rindu", sang by Karmila. 

想跟大家介绍这首歌曲：

“我思念的一件事”，歌词是从圣经，诗篇 Psalm 84:10写出来的。

Satu hal yang ku rindu

Berdiam di dalam rumahMu

Satu hal yang ku pinta

Menikmati baitMu Tuhan

Lebih baik satu hari di pelataranMu

Daripada s'ribu hari di tempat lain

MemujiMu menyembahMu, Kau Allah yang hidup

Dan menikmati s'mua kemurahanMu

"Lebih baik satu hari di pelataranMu, daripada s'ribu hari di tempat lain." 

意思是在你的院宇住一日，胜似在别处住千日。

曾经唱过这节的华语诗歌，思想过那些歌词。

说实在的，真的……我宁可住在神的殿中一日，胜过在外头住千日。

神的同在总是那么吸引我。:)

“我不想长大”

今天，接到妈妈打来的电话。她说，我的弟弟Elvin，不懂为什么看了戏之后，突然间放声大哭！他跟我妈妈说：“我不想长大……”。 一边哭着的他，也说很想念姐姐。我听了都感到心酸，已经有好几次妈妈因为这个原因而打来。知道弟弟一个人在家乡，全家都是大人，除了爸妈再也没有人能在家陪他玩，小时候的我却有我姐姐一直陪伴。回想起小时候的我，真的是享受童年，无忧无虑。曾经说过“我不想长大”，但还是要长大的。

Kick my sis's hp camera! Haha...

弟弟，好想念你啊~ 还有家人。=')

Life is a process of LEARNING.

从前至今

今天，我这里的牧师说…甘愿看到我弹钢琴，好过我在那里唱歌。是好事！因为之前都很少有机会服侍在钢琴的岗位。

但很遗憾的，我看…这里很少人知道我是从唱歌开始服侍的。有时会失望，因为看到没有自信的我，站在台上无法放胆的唱。看着小时候拿过的奖，更是伤心。
从前的我，消失了。

我希望我能胜过，像今天所唱的歌一样，《活出真正的你》-- 有情天音乐。

这条路，有那么难走吗？

神常常回答我说：“孩子，不要忘记我会陪在你身边。”

=)

但愿我更加明白神的心意。

不知不觉

不知不觉，我所读的课程已经剩下一年的时间。就连到现在还真是不知道我本人为什么会在这里，好像做梦一样~ 哈哈哈！来到KL的生活，自己一个人离开家乡的生活，真的充满了试探、考验，真的是很很很复杂。若不是神给我的坚持，我可能就没有今天。面对着一个又一个的困难，几乎想要放弃，有时甚至感觉快要窒息。我选择不要放弃我自己，因为神也不曾放弃过我。

 不知不觉，我已经20岁咯~ 很多东西要懂得自己去处理，要懂得自己解决问题。成长的过程中，好多事情要学，更加明白什么是人生，也知道真正的快乐是不能用金钱来衡量的。小的时候，常常以为如果有钱多好，可以买很多很多东西给爸爸妈妈，可以让身边的人开心。是！的确，有些东西是靠钱才可以买到，才能满足。但我知道耶稣是第一，知道在神凡事都能，金钱是带不走的。每当我单独一人想着想着，真的只要有耶稣，有家人朋友在身边，那真的是我这一生最大的福气。

不知不觉，我的父母也老了许多。有时突然间会接到妈妈的电话，一直问为什么身体的那个部分会痛，什么原因造成？其实什么问题都没有，只因为担心健康问题，而一直怀疑自己有病。我很庆幸，从小我有很支持我的父母，愿神每时每刻眷顾着他们，平平安安地度过每一天。

我……很感恩。神一直对我那么好。即使犯再多的错，神从来不计较，还一直提醒我、鼓励我。愿我这接下来的一生，都要荣耀主的名！

“我是在地上作寄居的，求你不要向我隐瞒你的命令。”（诗篇119：19）

We Cry Out by Gateway Worship (Kari Jobe)

生命中的时间

停了好一阵子的时间……

时间真的过得好快好快~ 今天已经是5月6号了。

感觉上好像生命停在之前最后一个 post 一样，没有故事好给我继续写。

前阵子因为一些事情，心情非常沉重，几乎失去所有的信心。虽然心里很渴望为神做大事，是有感动的！但因为失去了信心，变成无论做什么事，都不会把自己参与在其中。

有挣扎过好一段时间……好久好久……

直到有一天，我终于想清楚，终于明白神的旨意，终于知道如何去胜过。

我知道，我是谁，我要成为得胜者！

我知道，要花更多的时间亲近神。感谢神~ 透过我的属灵伙伴，提醒我。

我要抬起头来，向神欢呼赞美。为神再次设定目标，那不曾忘记的目标。=')

提醒自己总是记得：

“不可叫人小看你年輕，總要在言語、行為、愛心、信心、清潔上，都作信徒的榜樣。”

(提摩太前書 4:12)

没有忘记过，我第一个组长叫我们背熟这段经文。

我……

只想为神做更大的事，毫无保留，荣耀他的名~！

Lord, You open my eyes to the work of Your hands...

2012，新的一年 A New Year 2012

Songs of BLESSED TOP FIVE voting of the year 2011.

Remember these songs wherever and whenever I am.

GREAT encouragement, ANOINTED songs.

1st Song: 相遇 Xiang Yu
“耶和华必将好处，必将好处赐给我们。我们的地也要多出，也要多出土产……”

2nd Song: 欢迎你来 Huan Ying Ni Lai / I Welcome You
“和撒那！至高之处和撒那！和撒那！众城门抬起头来呀~ 荣耀啊！荣耀啊！万王之王，耶稣~ 我们的王……”

3rd Song: 何等可爱 He Deng Ke Ai / How Lovely

“我羡慕渴想耶和华的院宇。我的心肠，我的肉体，向永生神呼吁……”

4th Song: Sentuh Hatiku / 触动我的心 Chu Dong Wo De Xin

"Bapa, sentuh hatiku, ubah hidupku, menjadi yang baru.Bagai emas yang murni, Kau membentuk bejana hatiku......"

5th Song: 爱有多深就会有多远 Ai You Duo Shen Jiu Hui You Duo Yuan

“爱有多深就会多远，在每个清晨，每一个夜。张开双眼，静静守着明天，让祝福降临每个人间……”

Give thanks for everything. Although there is a hard time, but still, gotta be strong and face the day tomorrow.

A SUCCESS MAN will NEVER say "I GIVE UP!" to difficulties and challenges.

And for SURE......lastly,

"You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did." --- James 2:22

First

Thanks God! 08/11/11 will be the "first", the beginning of new things. Hope i really could do it, and keep on my faith. =) 

Luke 17:6

He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.